Nightmare
by LuckyLadybug
Summary: 1987 series, my Exit the Fly verse. Baxter always wondered why he hadn't included Barney among those he wanted revenge on during his cross-fusion with the fly. Now a recurring and developing nightmare suggests he did ... if it is instead a repressed memory. But why is it coming to light now? And why did Barney also forget, if it truly happened?


**Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987**

 **Nightmare**

 **By Lucky_Ladybug**

 **Notes: The characters are not mine and the story is! This is the plunnie that wouldn't die. It came when I was intrigued by it, went when I rejected it, and returned again and insisted on staying until I figured out how to make it work. It has gone through many mental revisions. This is part of my** _ **Exit the Fly**_ **verse. Baxter is human again and an ally of the Turtles'. His brother Barney works for Shredder.**

 _"Now, Baxter the Fly, you will witness my incredible genius!"_

 _Baxter frowned as he hovered in the air between his restrained twin and the maniacal Professor Sopho. "You're sure that this will help me get my revenge?"_

 _"Of course! There is nothing that will achieve it better!" Sopho reached for a mysterious ray gun setting atop his console._

 _Barney struggled against the cords binding him to the upright slab. "You are completely insane, Brother," he cried. "Turning yourself into that fly creature has destroyed whatever scraps of sanity you had left!"_

 _"I did not turn myself into this!" Baxter screamed, clenching his fists above his head. "Shredder and Krang did it to me, completely without my permission! They were trying to kill me!"_

 _Stunned surprise flickered in Barney's eyes. "What?" For a moment he actually looked sickened._

 _"Nevermind this!" Sopho leaped out with the ray gun bared. "Now, Dr. Stockman, this won't hurt a bit. I will transfer your memories to me and then I will have the secrets of how to blow up this stupid world! Ka-boom!"_

 _"With everyone on it?!" Barney exclaimed in horror._

 _"Of course not," Baxter buzzed. "He said everyone will go to Dimension X. Or was it Dimension C. . . . One of those. . . ."_

 _"Baxter . . ." The alien computer motherboard, left on the console below him, sounded concerned. "Pal, I don't think we should trust this Professor Sopho."_

 _"But he promised to help me get my revenge!" Baxter protested. "Barney has hurt me. All through my life he's hurt me! Now it's finally time I paid him back for all the suffering he's heaped on me!"_

 _"And now you will! Behold!" The ray gun lit up with a tremendous glow, capturing Sopho's twisted features in a new light. As it blasted Barney, a different beam came out the opposite end of the gun and bathed Sopho in its glow. The light that enveloped Sopho did not appear to be painful._

 _Barney, on the other hand, screamed in agony. "You said this wouldn't hurt!"_

 _"I said it wouldn't hurt a_ _ **bit!**_ _" Sopho cackled. "It will hurt a_ _ **lot!**_ _" He increased the power and Barney yelled and writhed, desperate to escape but unable. His fists clenched tightly enough to draw blood._

 _"Yes!" Baxter exclaimed, but now the fire had left his voice. "Now you will know what it's like to suffer, Barney. You'll know every bit of pain and heartache I felt when you treated me lower than dirt!"_

 _Barney stared at him for one brief moment. Then his eyes grew blank and he slumped forward, his endurance spent. Only the straps kept him from crashing to the floor._

 _Sopho turned off the ray. "There! It's finished!" he cried in delight. "I have your brother's memories! I know everything that happened between the two of you! More importantly, I possess all of his scientific knowledge! I know about the discovery he made, the one he set aside because he feared its destructive power! I do not fear it! He was a fool! Now I will use it to destroy the world!" He skipped back to his console to begin work on his treacherous scheme._

 _"Baxter, old buddy." The computer was definitely worried now. "Baxter, if we don't do something, we're both going to perish."_

 _But Baxter wasn't listening. He had flown down to be in front of the dazed Barney. "Barney?" He shook the other man by the shoulders. "Barney, you know what it's like to suffer now, don't you? I've taken my revenge on you! Now you know I won't stand for being a doormat any longer! That was what you always told me. You said I shouldn't be a doormat for anyone, even you! Now I'm not! I've shown you! I've shown you, haven't I, Barney?!"_

 _Barney blinked bleary eyes at him. "Who . . . or_ _ **what**_ _. . . are you?" he mumbled._

 _Baxter rocked back. "Barney . . . you . . . you don't remember me?!"_

 _"I feel sick." Barney sank back against the slab. "I don't remember_ _ **anything.**_ _"_

 _Baxter looked back to Sopho in shock. "What's wrong with my brother?!" he demanded. "This wasn't supposed to happen! He wasn't supposed to forget everything!"_

 _"Fool!" Sopho cackled. "I transferred his memories to me! Don't you understand what that means?!"_

 _"I thought you copied them," Baxter cried._

 _"I_ _ **moved**_ _them! His mind is a blank slate now! He can probably barely remember how to walk, if that! I'm surprised he can still talk!"_

 _Baxter looked back to Barney in shock. Pale and sick, Barney gazed blankly at the ceiling as his head lolled._

 _". . . You . . . you mean you've really taken everything?!" Baxter said in horror. "All of his memories of the past, of who he is . . . of me?"_

 _"Everything!" Sopho cackled. "But most especially the years of scientific knowledge he gathered! He can barely do simple arithmetic now!"_

 _Baxter quaked. "But I never wanted to do_ _ **that**_ _to him! Nothing means more to him than his knowledge!"_

 _"Which is exactly why taking it away is the perfect revenge!" Sopho crowed. "And now it will be in a far more capable mind-mine!"_

 _"No!" Baxter cried. "No! Barney, you remember, don't you? What's . . . um, 7347 divided by 230?"_

 _Barney didn't respond. He was still staring at the ceiling, his expression blank._

 _Baxter seized him by the shoulders again. "Answer me, Barney! Tell me about your inventions. The one Professor Sopho wanted! What is it?"_

 _Barney looked at him as though he was asking if it was possible to harvest green cheese from the Moon. ". . . I can invent things?"_

 _"Of course you can invent things!" Baxter insisted. "You always thought you were better than me at it!"_

 _"Who are you?" Barney countered._

 _"I'm your brother!" Baxter choked out._

 _"I have a brother?"_

 _Baxter stared at Barney in heartbroken horror. "Oh Barney . . . what have I done?"_

 _Barney just groaned, falling heavily to the side._

 _"Barney!" Baxter pleaded. He shook Barney again, but this time there was no reaction. Barney was either unconscious or in a stupor._

 _"Baxter . . ." The computer was talking again. "Buddy, I thought you understood what Sopho had in mind. I thought you wanted your revenge on someone who should have been there for you more than anyone else, because he_ _ **wasn't**_ _there for you."_

 _"No!" Baxter wailed. "No, not like this! I didn't mean for it to be like this!" His hands shook as he undid the straps binding Barney to the slab. The weakened man fell forward into Baxter's arms. Baxter came down the rest of the way and knelt on the floor, cradling him in both sets of arms. "Speak to me, Barney! Please . . . please, speak to me!"_

 _"Who's Barney?" was the mumbled moan._

 _Baxter sobbed uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, Barney. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do_ _ **this**_ _to you. I didn't. . . ."_

 _The alien computer listened in sorrow and regret. Even now, with Baxter's sanity and intellect shot, there were some lines he wouldn't cross. What had happened to Barney had pierced him all the way through to whatever humanity he had left. But with Sopho preparing to spell the end of Earth and the only person who knew how to stop him lying helpless on the floor, it looked as though Baxter had been encouraged into crossing one of those lines . . . with no way back._

xxxx

Baxter sprang upright in bed, chalk-white. Then, as reality slowly began to set in, he groaned and slumped forward. "Not again. . . ."

For the last several nights, he had been experiencing a recurring nightmare that expanded each time. He didn't know what to make of it, but he knew he hated it. It took the worst time in his life and made it ten thousand times worse.

It had always puzzled him why he hadn't included Barney among those he wanted to take revenge on during his horrifying time as a half-fly, half-human. But he hadn't wanted to think much on it and instead just be thankful for the omission. These dreams seemed determined to mock his relief. They were so real that it was hard to believe they were only dreams.

But . . . he couldn't have really attacked Barney and then repressed the memory. Barney didn't remember any such thing. If he did, he would no doubt hate Baxter even more than he already did. It had to just be one of Baxter's worst fears made manifest in his subconscious.

Why so many expanding details, though? Why Professor Sopho, of all people? The mind was an endless puzzle and often took random things from its memory banks to form dreams, but these inclusions still seemed baffling. And those, plus the way the dream's contents expanded each night, made him worry wondering if there was any way that it wasn't just a dream.

After hesitating a bit more, he reached for the Turtle-Comm on the nightstand. It was late, but maybe the Turtles were still up watching _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_ or something equally ludicrous. He had tried to brush off the dream in the past, and to just deal with it and other late-night demons all by himself, but now he had had enough. There was someone who could help him determine the truth of his night terror, and he wanted to know that truth once and for all.

"Hey, Baxter," Michelangelo greeted soon after Baxter placed the call.

"Hello, Michelangelo. Did I wake you?" The Turtle didn't seem sleepy, so Baxter hoped he hadn't.

"Heck, no. I was just playing my _Space Invaders_ game. What's up?"

Baxter hesitated again. ". . . Well, the truth is that I have a problem," he confessed. "And I'd like to talk with Splinter about it."

"Oh sure, Baxter." Now Michelangelo was surprised. "I think he's up doing his late-night meditation. Should I tell him you want to come over?"

"Ask him if he could put me under hypnosis," Baxter said. "I need to know if something I've been dreaming about is actually a repressed memory. And if it is, I need to know the rest of it."

Michelangelo blinked in surprise. "This sounds serious. I'll get him. Hang on." He left the Turtle-Comm on the bed and hopped down.

Baxter waited, wondering how long it would take. He looked to the clock, then out the window as his impatience mounted. But it was less than five minutes before Michelangelo came back.

"He says to come right over," he said. "He's happy to help."

"Thank you, Michelangelo," Baxter said in relief. "I'll come as quickly as possible."

He hung up, praying that he was strong enough to handle whatever the truth turned out to be.

xxxx

Barney's eyes snapped open. He was lying on his cot, staring up at the ceiling in his laboratory, but he wasn't really looking at it. After a moment he sat up, the springs creaking under his weight.

"Barney?"

He looked to where he had left the alien computer motherboard on the table. "That is _it,_ " he growled in frustration. "That's the last time I eat Mexican pizza before bed!"

"What's wrong, Barney?"

Barney pushed himself off the cot and stormed over to the table, where he had been assembling a powerful laptop. "I had a ridiculous dream," he scowled. "Baxter attacked me as a fly and dragged me off to that idiot Professor Sopho."

"He did?" The computer sounded strange.

"Sopho wanted the knowledge I possessed about some doomsday device I'd discovered by accident," Barney explained. "When I wouldn't tell him, he tricked Baxter into helping him abduct me. He claimed Baxter could get his revenge for everything I'd done to hurt him through the years. Apparently Baxter thought Sopho was going to put me through some kind of torture, but he didn't know what." He folded his arms on the table's edge. "Sopho used some bizarre ray gun on me that left me as little more than an amnesiac child. Baxter had a breakdown when he realized what had actually been done to me. He was holding me and crying . . . and it ended there."

"What do you think about it, Barney?"

"What can I think?" Barney retorted. "It's utterly and completely bizarre and disturbing. I know I've wondered why Baxter spared me when he went on his vengeance-induced rampages, but I didn't think I'd actually dream about what could have happened if he hadn't."

"For the sake of conversation, what if he really had done it? How would you feel?"

"I don't know." Barney idly picked up a screwdriver and turned it around in his hands. "He was clearly out of his mind at that point in time. And if he didn't even really understand what Sopho wanted to do to me, could I really hate him for his part in it?" He set the screwdriver down, troubled.

"I think you would have hated him at an earlier point in time."

"After seeing the way he fell apart, I don't know that I would have hated him for it at any point," Barney frowned. "I did hurt him all through our lives, just as he said in the dream. I've been so hateful when he didn't deserve it and I've wondered how he could not feel the same when I _did_ deserve it. What more understandable time for lashing out at me would there have been than when his mind was being taken over by some primal creature?"

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Barney."

"I don't see what it matters now anyway," Barney retorted. "It didn't happen. It couldn't have. I'm alright. And neither of us have any memory of such an experience."

The computer hesitated so long that Barney began to be confused. When it spoke again at last, he didn't know what to make of what it said. "Barney, I think it's time you know the truth."

"What truth?!" Barney shot back. "What are you talking about?!"

"Your dream. I don't know how it came back to you, but it was real. It was a memory. But it's supposed to be erased."

Barney grabbed the motherboard, staring at it in shocked disbelief. "How can it be real?!" he cried. "I'm alright! I have all of my life's memories!"

"Except one." Another pause. "And if you're remembering it at long last, I wonder if Baxter is too. Barney, I think we need to go to the surface."

"What?! We can't leave the Technodrome! It will look suspicious!" Barney barked. "Why don't you just tell me down here?!"

"Because if Baxter is remembering too, I don't know what it will do to him. I think I need to tell both of you the rest of the story, but I want you to be together when I do."

"You know?!" Barney kept staring, not sure what he was feeling now. "You acted like you didn't know anything about me when we first met!"

"I lied. I didn't want to give any indication that I knew who you were, because I was afraid it might trigger the blocked memories if they still existed in some part of your mind."

Barney slumped back. Now he was the silent one.

The computer sounded worried when it spoke again. "Barney? Are you angry with me?"

"I don't know _what_ I am," Barney said bitterly. "I just found out that my brother teamed up with a mad scientist and together they apparently erased my memories. I don't know how I'm alright, but apparently my only friend knew all along what happened and didn't tell me."

"You said you wouldn't hate Baxter for it, considering his state of mind at the time. And considering how devastated he was when he fully realized what was done to you."

"Yes, but that was when it was hypothetical," Barney retorted. "Now it's real."

"Barney, please wait to pass judgment until you've heard the rest."

Barney's eyes darkened. "Alright." He stood. "We'll go up to the surface and find Baxter. But what if he _isn't_ remembering?"

"Then it would be kinder not to remind him. But I'd still tell you alone the rest of the story."

"You'd better." Barney slipped the motherboard into his pocket. "I still don't know if I can make our exit convincing."

"I know you will." A pause. "And did you really mean that about me being your only friend?"

Barney gave a dark smirk. "There's no one else I know whom I feel comfortable calling a friend." He opened the door and stepped into the hall.

It was a relief to find that the only ones around were Bebop and Rocksteady. They looked up as Barney approached. "Hey, Barney," Rocksteady greeted. "What's up?"

"I need to go to the surface and retrieve some more parts for my latest invention," Barney announced.

"We could get them for you," Rocksteady offered.

"I'd rather get them myself," Barney replied. "I want something very specific. I really need to see it in person."

"Okay." Bebop sounded relieved to not have to go out so late. "We'll tell the boss and Krang if they wake up and ask about you."

"You do that." Barney walked past them and over to the nearest transport module. When he was inside and the vehicle was barreling towards the surface, he said, "Now I really will have to get some parts to make that story look legitimate."

"It will be worth it, Barney," the computer insisted.

"It had better be," Barney scowled.

xxxx

When Baxter arrived at the Lair, all the Turtles were awake as well as Splinter.

"So what is this big thing you want figured out?" Raphael asked.

Baxter sighed, heavily. "If the hypnosis works, you'll find out soon enough."

"Sit down, Dr. Stockman," said Splinter as he gestured at a chair.

Baxter did, trying to quell the growing nervousness rising in his throat.

"I cannot promise this won't be painful," Splinter said. "If your dream is a repressed memory, you have been blocking it for a reason."

"I realize that," Baxter said. "But I still have to know."

"Very well." Splinter reached under Baxter's hair and touched two fingers to the back of his neck. "You will now respond only to my voice. You will close your eyes and think of the dream that has been troubling you."

Baxter shuddered. "I'm thinking of it. . . . It's horrible."

"When did you first have this dream?"

"Two weeks ago . . . no. It was when I was a fly."

The Turtles exchanged a look. "Uh oh," Michelangelo said under his breath.

"And what is happening?" Splinter asked.

"I'm stranded in another dimension. No . . . I got free. I'm back on Earth, with my computer friend. It's just a motherboard now. It was almost completely destroyed by Leonardo on one of our prior trips." As Baxter spoke, his voice became higher pitched, as it was during his cross-fusion.

Splinter wasn't surprised by that. "What do you plan to do on Earth?"

"I'm half-mad with starvation and anger. I hate the Turtles for hurting the computer and causing us to be stranded again. I hate Shredder and Krang for turning me into this monster. I hate my brother for never being there for me."

"You haven't thought about your brother before. Why now?"

"When we got back on Earth, I saw him on television. He stole away people who were interested in me. He always did that when I wasn't around to have a say in things."

"Isn't your brother in prison?"

"He is, thanks to him teaming up with Pinky McFingers and getting caught. Several of the people who used to like me at various social functions say that they're waiting for Barney to get out of prison so he can work on things for them. The reporter also went and interviewed Barney in prison. He said he's the best scientist in the family and I'm a pathetic joke that turned myself into a mutant fly. But I didn't do it! I _didn't!_ "

"Is that what is making you angry?"

"Yes!" Baxter spat. "My brother always thought the worst of me! He always hated me! Now I want revenge! _Revenge!_ "

Michelangelo shuddered. "Are you sure this is safe, Master Splinter?" he gulped. "Baxter's starting to sound like the fly."

"This was his choice, Michelangelo," Splinter said calmly. "But if he grows too involved, I will bring him out of it."

"So what does this mean, Sensei?" Raphael asked. "Is he just relating his dream or is it for real?"

"Considering he said he first had this experience when he was a fly, I am afraid it may very well not be a dream," Splinter answered. "Dr. Stockman, how do you plan to take revenge on your brother?"

Baxter came to attention again. "I'm not sure. There are so many possibilties! I'm stronger as a fly. I could break into the prison and beat him up. But no. That isn't good enough. Maybe I should find the mutation gun and turn him into a horrible creature so he can understand what it feels like!" His eyes opened and they were wild.

The Turtles backed up. "I think this is getting pretty involved," Raphael proclaimed.

"Wait a moment, my student." Splinter looked to Baxter, still completely calm. "Have you decided yet?"

"A man just found me on the street," Baxter said. "He says his name is Professor Philo Sopho."

 _"Sopho?!"_ the Turtles cried with one voice.

"That lunatic?!" Raphael added. "Oh brother!"

Baxter ignored them, as per Splinter's instructions. "I remember him from college. He was always angry at the world. He remembers me too, and Barney. He says he tried to get Barney to help him with something and Barney refused. Barney's so arrogant, he wants all the glory for himself! That's what Sopho says, anyway. He wants me to help him get Barney to help him. He says I can have my revenge on Barney if I do."

"And are you going to do it?"

"I _am_ doing it!" Baxter sat up straight and cackled, spreading his hands and curling his fingers. "I broke right through the prison wall! Barney has backed up in the corner. He's scared of me now! He sees that I am more powerful than he is! I'm picking him right up and carrying him out into the night. His screams and struggles are no match for me!"

"Baxter really did all that?" Raphael sounded doubtful. "I don't remember hearing about any damage done to the prison or any weird breakouts."

"Maybe their parents killed the story," Leonardo suggested. "Or maybe we just weren't around when it happened. I'm guessing this was probably sometime between the _Landlord of the Flies_ incident and the time Baxter started turning people into insects. Sopho was out of prison then, if it was before the time he stole Foster Fenwick's invention."

Splinter glanced to them but didn't acknowledge their conversation. "What is happening now, Dr. Stockman?"

"I've taken Barney to Sopho's hideout. He has me helping him strap Barney down to a metal slab. Oh, this is so delicious! Finally I'm going to have my revenge! I don't know why I didn't think of going after Barney before. He hurt me all through my life. Who is more deserving of my revenge than he?" Baxter clapped his hands together and rubbed them like a fly.

". . . You can bring him out of this any time, Sensei," Michelangelo gulped.

"After all this?" Donatello retorted. "I want to know what happens. Anyway, I've never seen Master Splinter's hypnosis work like this on someone before."

"Yeah. Well, I hope I never see it again," Raphael declared.

"What makes it mondo creepier is knowing that he's been a real nice guy ever since he was turned human again," Michelangelo said. "This sure drives home how different and nutzoid Baxter the Fly was."

"Do you know what Professor Sopho is planning to do to your brother?" Splinter queried.

"He keeps talking about taking his memories so he'll know about the scientific discovery Barney made that he won't help Sopho with. I guess he's going to use this ray gun to copy Barney's memories to his own mind."

"Fascinating," Donatello breathed. "But horrible at the same time! It's just like Sopho to come up with something demented like that!"

"Sopho's using the gun on Barney now," Baxter exclaimed. "Barney's in pain. Now he knows what it's like to suffer! Now he knows how I feel! For the first time he knows what it's like to be oppressed, to be hurt, to be mercilessly abused! . . . Only . . . no, what's wrong with him?!" He leaned forward in increasing panic. "Barney?! Barney, what's wrong?! Why don't you know me? Why don't you know who you are?! Sopho, what did you do to him?! You lied to me! Sopho, what did you do?!" He leaped up, his voice strangled now. He fumbled, as though trying to undo invisible straps in the air, and then collapsed to his knees as though holding something.

"Dr. Stockman!" Splinter cried. "What did Professor Sopho do?"

"He's _taken_ Barney's memories!" Baxter sobbed. "He didn't copy them; he _took_ them! Barney, he's . . . he's . . ." He rocked back and forth in uncontrollable hysteria. "Oh Barney, I didn't mean for this to happen! I didn't mean for you to end up like this! Please . . . please, speak to me, Barney. Please . . . !"

"But Barney is alright now," Splinter said. "What happened? How is he alright?"

Baxter shook his head. "Barney isn't alright!" he wailed. "Can't you see? He doesn't know anything anymore! Sopho did this to him! And I helped! _I_ did this to him! Oh Barney . . . Barney, no . . . no. . . ."

"Sensei, I don't think you're gonna get any more out of him," Michelangelo said in concern. His eyes showed how deeply shaken he was by this display.

"I'm afraid not," Splinter agreed. "I will bring him out of it." Again he placed his fingers on Baxter's neck. "Dr. Stockman, you will return to your normal state of consciousness. You will remember everything you told me and also what happened next."

As Splinter took his fingers away, Baxter blinked and fell back. Now he was staring at the emptiness in his arms and his lap, seeming bewildered that nothing was there.

"Baxter?" Michelangelo cautiously ventured. "Are you okay?"

"Are you back to your usual, relatively mild self?" Raphael added.

Baxter trembled. "It wasn't a dream," he rasped. "I actually helped do such an abominable thing to my brother. I thought I'd never attacked him and it's far worse than anything I thought I could have done!"

"You weren't in any state of mind to realize what Professor Sopho wanted to do," Splinter said. "But what happened next? How is Barney alright now?"

"I . . . I don't know!" Baxter cried in dismay. "I was supposed to remember, but I _can't._ There's still a block there!"

"Dude. Like, how could it get any worse than what he's already remembered?" Michelangelo said low.

"I don't know, but I wonder what ol' Barney would think if he started remembering too," Raphael remarked.

"That's right. Barney doesn't remember." Baxter looked up in bewilderment. "Why would neither of us remember something like this? It's too bizarre that we would both block it out."

"Perhaps not," Splinter said. "It was obviously completely traumatic for both of you. It isn't impossible to believe that you would both want to forget it altogether."

"It's unfathomable that we _wouldn't_ want to forget." Baxter shakily pulled himself back onto the chair. "Maybe this is even subconsciously contributing to why Barney hates me so much. For something like this, I couldn't even blame him!" He leaned forward and dug his hands into his hair.

Splinter looked at him in concern. "I wonder if speaking with Barney would help."

"How would it, unless he's remembering too?" Donatello frowned. "And that would be too much of a coincidence."

"It may depend on why they haven't remembered," said Splinter. "I believe there must be much more to this story than we currently know. And there may still be someone who remembers it in full."

"I don't think Sopho will talk," Baxter mumbled forlornly.

"I am not speaking of Professor Sopho," Splinter answered, "but of your computer."

That brought Baxter upright. "That's true," he realized. "The computer was there; I remember it talking to me."

"So what are we waiting for?" Michelangelo exclaimed. "Let's find it and Barney and get some answers!"

"But that would mean going to the Technodrome," Donatello interjected. "The portal barely lasted long enough to get us there on Christmas Eve. I don't know that it's safe to try to use it again, especially so soon."

"We have to try," Michelangelo protested. "It's our only hope!"

"Unless we just wait for Shredder to try to conquer the world again and go up to Barney and ask him then," Raphael said dryly.

Donatello heaved a sigh. "Alright, alright. I'll try to fix the portal."

Baxter got up. "And I'll help you."

"Do you really feel up to it?" Donatello asked, eyeing him warily.

"I have to know the rest of the story," Baxter said. "And what if Barney _is_ remembering? That could push him further onto Shredder's side!"

"That's . . . probably actually possible," Raphael said. "Knowing that creep."

Baxter paused and looked over at him. "I helped turn him into a mindless idiot and you call _him_ the creep."

"You're a nice guy now," Raphael replied. "And I know I never thought I'd say that about you. Right now, I can't imagine me saying anything nice about Barney."

Baxter decided not to push it.

xxxx

Shredder frowned as he walked into the room where Bebop and Rocksteady had set up their Christmas tree and found them playing basketball. "There's a transport module missing," he said. "What's going on?"

"Barney took it, Boss," Bebop said.

"Yeah! He said he had to get some specialized parts!" Rocksteady added.

"In the middle of the night?!" Shredder glowered at them. "The stores will all be closed!"

"So? He's probably gonna steal 'em!" Rocksteady retorted.

"Perhaps. But he's never done this before." Shredder looked to the main control room.

"You think he's lying, Boss?" Rocksteady wondered.

"I don't know." Shredder hesitated, then headed in that direction. "But I'm going to the surface to check on him. You two idiots come with me."

"But we was in the middle of a game," Bebop protested.

"And who's gonna tell Krang where you went if we go too?" Rocksteady wondered.

"He'll call my comm-link!" Shredder snapped. "Now stop making excuses and come on!"

Giving up, Bebop and Rocksteady trudged after him.

"And I was winning too," Bebop frowned.

"You can win next time," Rocksteady promised.

"It ain't the same, though," Bebop said. "It's nicer when it's unexpected."

Shredder scowled. "Is it ever possible to get good help any more?" he beseeched the unknown.

xxxx

Barney frowned as he stood looking up at the apartment building Baxter called home. "He lives on the top floor," he mused. "The window's dark. He's probably asleep."

"Go up the fire escape and see," the computer encouraged. "This is important, Barney."

Definitely not pleased, Barney started up the stairs.

Irma suddenly appeared at her window when he reached the second floor. "Hey, what are you doing out here?!" she cried. "You shouldn't be here!"

Barney jumped a mile. "Be quiet!" he hissed in frustration. "Do you want the entire building to know I'm here?"

"I think I want the Turtles to know," Irma retorted. "I wish I had a Turtle-Comm!"

"I'm not here to cause trouble," Barney insisted, even though he knew she wasn't likely to believe him. "I need to see my brother about something."

"Not that I believe you, but he's not even here," Irma informed him. "I heard him drive out about forty-five minutes ago."

"Irma, what's going on?" Another window went up and April stood there with a bad case of bed hair. The sight of Barney caused her to wake up quite rapidly. "You!"

"April, call the Turtles," Irma exclaimed. "This guy has to be up to no good!"

"I sure will!" April took out her Turtle-Comm.

Instead of running, Barney just folded his arms and waited in annoyance. It had occurred to him that if Baxter was leaving in the middle of the night, he might be going to visit the Turtles. And if he wasn't, they might at least know where he was.

After a moment Leonardo came on April's Turtle-Comm. "What is it, April?" he asked.

"Barney Stockman showed up!" April announced.

Leonardo almost dropped the Turtle-Comm. "What?! What's he doing?"

"Just standing here on the fire escape," April told him. "He says he wants to see his brother."

"Baxter wants to see him too," Leonardo said. "Try to keep him there and we'll be over as soon as we can!"

"But what's . . ." April scowled as the picture went dead. ". . . All this about," she finished grudgingly.

"I'm going to wait on the roof," Barney said, and walked on past her.

Irma watched him go. "Weird."

"That's putting it mildly," April sighed. "I don't know whether something's brewing or not!"

"Well, since he says it's not, I'm going to bed," Irma declared. "Goodnight." She vanished from her window and shut it after her.

April rocked back. "I guess I'd better go to bed too," she said. "But I think I'll keep alert, just in case something goes wrong."

She left her window open a crack as she turned away.

xxxx

Shredder was most displeased as the transport module came up inside a fountain. Water spurted everywhere upon opening the door. "Rocksteady, you moron!" he boomed.

"Sorry, Boss," Rocksteady said. "That fountain wasn't supposed to be there!"

"But it is." Shredder jumped to the ground and dashed past the fountain before wringing out his cape. "It's sort of just the opposite of you. You're supposed to have brains, but you don't!"

"Aww, gee, that's pretty harsh," Rocksteady frowned.

"Yeah. Barney would never let anyone talk to him like that," said Bebop.

"What do I care what Barney would or would not allow?" Shredder stomped down the street, his eyes filled with aggravation. "As long as the two of you don't start acting out as well."

"We won't, Boss," Bebop promised. "I was just sayin'."

They reached the end of the block before Shredder's comm-link went off. "Great. That's just what I need now-Krang nagging me," he muttered as he pulled it out.

"Shredder?!" Krang's annoyed face filled the screen. "Where are you? Do you _know_ what time it is?!"

"I went to the surface to find Barney," Shredder explained.

"Barney?! What's he doing up there?"

"He said he came up to find some more parts he needed, but . . ." Shredder trailed off. Somehow, explaining his suspicions to Krang didn't sound fun at all right now.

Krang figured it out anyway. "You think he's doing something else."

"Well . . . he's never come up to get parts himself before!" Shredder protested. "He's always let Bebop and Rocksteady handle it!"

"And that's turned into a disaster more than once!" Krang retorted. "Have you forgotten the time he asked for a coupling mechanism and they brought a _Personals column?!_ I don't blame him for wanting to do his own shopping! Stop playing Humphrey Bogart and get back down here!" The screen went dark.

Shredder snarled. "One of these days, Krang is going to have to eat his words." He gripped the comm-link tightly enough that it was a small miracle it didn't break.

"Barney's never acted like he wants to get away," Bebop said.

"Yeah! He likes us!" Rocksteady declared.

"I highly doubt that," Shredder shot back. "He tolerates all of us at best. No, he's up to something." He turned the corner.

"Ain't we goin' back like Krang said?" Bebop asked.

"Not until we find Barney!" Shredder insisted.

Rocksteady sighed. "There goes the evening."

xxxx

Baxter grew more and more nervous as he drove ahead of the Turtle Van and led it back home. The Turtles and Splinter had all opted to come along, concerned over what Barney wanted and whether their help would be needed. Baxter was grateful, but hoped their intervention wouldn't be needed.

He wished he could dismiss everything he had been learning tonight as a dream. But he knew it wasn't. He had suspected it before he had gone to see Splinter, and now that the hypnosis session was over, he remembered the truth. What he didn't remember was what came after. Hopefully Barney would be agreeable to talking to the computer about it, whether or not he had started to remember. Baxter suspected he had, however. Otherwise, it was quite an odd coincidence for Barney to suddenly want to see him. Usually Barney was happiest when Baxter was far away.

Barney's transport module had come up fairly close to the building. Baxter looked at it, relieved that it hadn't come up in the parking lot. Then he sighed and pulled into his space. For better or worse, it was time.

Leonardo parked as well. "Do you want us to come with you, Baxter?" he asked, leaning out the window.

"I can manage," Baxter answered. "If Barney's by himself, there shouldn't be any trouble." He paused. "But you do deserve to know the full truth, now that you know as much as you do."

"We'll come with you part-way," Leonardo determined. "We should be able to hear from there."

Baxter nodded. He turned, heading up the fire escape. Each step became more of a dread. At the same time, he wanted to get this over with. He pushed himself on until he reached the roof and found himself looking at his twin.

Barney's expression was dark and cold. "What did you _do_ to me?" he snarled.

Baxter trembled. Barney didn't need to elaborate on what he meant. "I . . . I'm so sorry, Barney!" he choked out. "I'm sorry . . ."

"So you do remember," Barney growled.

"I . . . I just started to recently," Baxter stammered. "It was only tonight that I realized it wasn't just a nightmare. . . . Although it still feels like one. . . . I can hardly believe what I did! I can never ask for your forgiveness. I . . . I . . ."

Barney just glowered at him without speaking.

" _I'm_ sorry, Baxter," said another voice.

Baxter froze. "What . . ." He slowly came up on the roof while Barney reached into his pocket and took out the motherboard.

"I'm more to blame than you are," the computer said sadly. "I encouraged you to go ahead with your plans. Although I didn't like that Professor Sopho from the start. . . ."

"Nevermind all that," Barney snapped. "Tell us the rest of the story."

"Alright," said the computer. "Here's what happened next."

 _As Baxter sobbed and Professor Sopho cackled, the computer realized that it was the only one that could think to do anything right then. But it would need Baxter's help. In Baxter's current state, he would want to give it. But was he capable of it?_

 _"Baxter!" the computer cried. "Buddy, listen to me."_

 _"Look what I've done to him!" Baxter wailed. "I didn't want this!"_

 _"We can still save him," the computer insisted. "Sopho is unguarded, isn't he?"_

 _Baxter looked over. "Y-Yes."_

 _"Then knock him unconscious and take the ray gun. There must be a way to throw it in reverse."_

 _At last Baxter's eyes sparkled with a bit of hope. "Reverse. Yes." Gently he laid Barney on the floor and stood. Then he was flying at Sopho, his wings beating furiously. His fists came down hard on Sopho's shoulder blades. The mad scientist collapsed with a groan and Baxter scooped up the gun. "I don't know how to work it!" he realized._

 _The computer sighed. Baxter had been a great scientist once, before they had met. Now his mind was not his own and it was fading more every day. The computer had the feeling that were it not for that, Baxter probably never would have gotten mixed up in this plot at all._

 _"Does it have an onboard computer?" it asked._

 _"I think . . . yes!" Baxter held it out. "Yes, it does!"_

 _"Good. Plug me into it. I'll figure out how to throw it in reverse."_

 _Baxter obeyed, and soon the computer had determined the mechanism to reverse the gun's effects. It quickly programmed the gun's computer to set it in place. "Alright. Now hold up the gun and blast your brother with it."_

 _Baxter grasped it in his shaking hands. "You're sure you've fixed it," he demanded._

 _"Yes," the computer insisted. "It's safe. Use it on your brother now!"_

 _At last Baxter steadied the weapon and pulled the trigger. A glow came from Sopho's body and back into the gun. The second glow emerged from the barrel and blasted Barney. When it faded, Baxter set the gun and the motherboard aside and hurried back to Barney's side. "Barney?! Barney, are you alright?!"_

 _Barney groaned in response. Then without warning he sprang up, his eyes filled with fire and rage. "And you wonder why I hate you!" he screamed. "How dare you do that to me! How_ _ **dare**_ _you!"_

 _Baxter cried out in shock and pain as Barney attacked him, beating on him with his fists. Instead of even trying to defend himself, Baxter sank to his knees and shook._

 _"Stop!" the computer cried. But Barney was too filled with hate to listen._

 _The computer was in horror. Neither Barney nor Baxter would forgive Baxter for his part in creating the disaster. And with Baxter so seemingly broken and unwilling to fight back, it was hard to say how far Barney would go in his fury. To the computer, there seemed to only be one solution._

 _Again it worked the controls on the gun, determining how to blast two targets and how to be selective about what memories were erased. Then, controlling the trigger from the gun's computer, it blasted them both. The brothers shouted in pain and surprise and fell back against the console._

 _"You'll be alright, Baxter," the computer said softly. "And you will too, Barney. You won't remember anything that's happened in the last several hours. That is the best way. Maybe it won't be permanent; there's always a way to retrieve deleted information from computers. I've heard it's the same principle with the human mind. But at least you won't remember for a long time. Maybe by the time you do, you'll both be in a better place mentally and you will be able to handle it."_

 _Baxter stirred after a moment. "What happened?" he asked. "Why are we in this place?"_

 _"That's not important, Baxter, old pal," said the computer. "But we need to get out of here."_

 _Baxter got up and reached for the motherboard. "What's this gun thing?"_

 _"It's bad, Baxter," said the computer. "Unplug me and destroy it."_

 _Baxter did so, throwing the ray gun hard against the stone wall. It smashed into pieces._

 _Barney was reviving now as well. "What am I doing here with you?!" he said in bewildered aggravation._

 _"Barney?!" Baxter stared at him. "I thought you were in prison!"_

 _"I was!" Barney looked sick. "I have no memory of leaving. But if they think I escaped, my sentence is going to be extended!"_

 _"I wonder if I came here to find you," Baxter mused. "I could . . . take you back, if you want. . . ."_

 _Barney looked surprised. "You'd do that?"_

 _"I think I would. . . . No, I would. . . ." Apparently the blast from the gun had also neutralized Baxter's hurt feelings towards Barney from the past several hours. He didn't even seem to remember the desire for revenge against him at all now._

 _The computer wished it could believe that Baxter's lucidity would last. Unfortunately, with the fly still part of him, it was highly unlikely that he would remain as relatively sane as he seemed at the moment. But the computer hoped that the next time Baxter descended deeper into madness, he wouldn't think about including Barney as one of his victims. Despite everything Barney had done to hurt him, hurting Barney in turn was apparently something Baxter could not handle. It was one of the few positive parts of his humanity that yet remained._

Both Baxter and Barney stood, stunned and sobered, when the computer finished its tale. They looked down at it and then at each other, neither knowing what to say. Both looked shaken.

". . . I don't remember taking Barney back to the prison," Baxter said at last.

"I don't either," Barney frowned.

"Apparently one of the side effects of using the gun to erase only a few memories is that what happens during the first hour or two after the gun is used will also fade from your memories," said the computer. "It must have something to do with your dazed states of mind after the trauma."

"That makes sense," said Baxter.

He and Barney looked at each other. Neither quite wanted to approach what they were really thinking. They weren't even fully sure how, yet they knew they had to. They couldn't walk away and leave things like this.

Concerned at their silence, the computer said, "I hoped that if you remembered the truth, it would be when you could handle it better. I hope I wasn't wrong."

Barney drew a heavy sigh. ". . . I guess this makes three times I attacked you out of anger," he said to Baxter. "I could have killed you when you didn't even fight back." He looked sick.

"I don't think you would have gone that far," Baxter said. "When you really realized you were hurting me, you would have stopped." He shook his head. "And I can't even say I didn't deserve your assault that time. You didn't know I was reversing the process. Maybe you didn't even care. The last thing you remembered was seeing Sopho using the gun on you while I cheered him on. You were most likely traumatized and it came out in your anger."

"That doesn't make me feel better." Barney's expression darkened. "And I can hardly fault you for wanting revenge on me. I knew it seemed too strange that you wouldn't want to include me on your list."

"It was strange to me too, but I wanted to believe that for some reason I had enough humanity left to avoid harming my family." Baxter sighed. "After all, who would have thought that something happened and we both forgot it after the fact?" He hesitated. "If you're still angry at me, I wouldn't blame you."

Barney looked hard at Baxter. "I don't know what I feel right now. I need some time to think. But I won't do anything to you, Brother. You've suffered enough with your guilt to make any other retribution pale in comparison." He sighed tiredly. "And when I really warranted your assault, it wouldn't be fair to hurt you because of it."

"I never wanted to go that far, even when I was consumed by revenge," Baxter said sadly. "I am so sorry it happened. I will still feel guilt now. It won't go away easily. But at least I have the comfort of knowing that we reversed the damage and you're alright. I won't fall apart again." He looked down at the computer. "Thank you for saving us from each other and ourselves. It's hard to say what would have happened if we hadn't forgot back then."

"I'm glad I could help." The computer hesitated. "Would you plug me into something with a screen? Your phone, your Turtle-Comm? I would like to see what you look like at least once."

Baxter blinked in surprise. "I can plug you into my Turtle-Comm." He took it out and reached for the short cord. Barney allowed him to plug the motherboard into the handheld device.

In a moment the computer's face appeared on the small screen. It studied first Baxter, then Barney, before it spoke. "You look different as a human," it mused. "But I can see you're happier and much more at peace, even though you feel new guilt over what you did. I'm glad."

Baxter slowly nodded. "Is Barney treating you well?" he asked.

"Quite well. He's going to put me in a laptop. It was his idea," the computer added, just to stave off any possible thoughts Baxter might have that the computer had suggested it after the previous conversation with Baxter.

Baxter looked up at Barney, somewhat in surprise. "Good. It's about time."

Barney reached to unplug the motherboard from the Turtle-Comm. "We should go," he said. "I have to pick up some new parts for my cover story about leaving the Technodrome."

"Oh. Yes, you should go." Baxter looked back at the computer one final time before Barney undid the connection.

It looked back. "Goodbye, Baxter, old buddy."

"Goodbye," Baxter returned. "Goodbye, Barney. . . ."

Barney slipped the motherboard into his coat pocket and gave Baxter a cool nod. As he stepped back and started down the fire escape, he wasn't terribly surprised to find the Turtles and Splinter right there.

"Did you have fun eavesdropping?" he asked.

"I'd probably have more fun beating you up, but I won't for Baxter's sake," Raphael retorted.

Baxter came to the top of the fire escape and looked down in surprised concern.

Barney hesitated. For a moment it looked as though he might say more. But then he looked away and pushed past them to continue his descent.

"Baxter still believes in you, Dude," Michelangelo called after him. "And I believe Baxter."

That definitely made Barney stop and turn back. He stared at Michelangelo in shock. "You're the last one who should believe in me," he objected.

Michelangelo shrugged. "Hey, at least you weren't actually trying to kill me. I cut you some slack."

Barney shook his head, overwhelmed. "You're naive. You're _both_ naive. At least where I'm concerned." He hurried down the metal steps, wanting to get away from this strange and uncomfortable conversation.

"Maybe they're not naive, Barney," the computer said when they reached the bottom. "Maybe they just see in you what you can't see in yourself."

"They see what isn't there." Barney went to the transport module and climbed in. "Do you know the nearest supply store?"

"I assimilated that information when I was plugged into Baxter's Turtle-Comm," the computer replied. "I'll guide you."

"Thank you," said Barney.

The group watched from the fire escape as Barney made his departure. "You know what the creepiest thing is about this whole thing that happened in the past?" Michelangelo said.

"No, but I know that you calling down hope to Barney Stockman is probably the creepiest thing in the present," Raphael retorted.

Michelangelo ignored that. "Professor Sopho was getting ready to destroy the world and we didn't even know about it!" he exclaimed. "If it wasn't for Baxter's alien computer, and Baxter being able to follow its lead even in his mixed-up state, the planet would probably be toast!"

That brought a stunned silence. "You know what? You're right," Raphael declared at last. "That _is_ the creepiest thing."

xxxx

Shredder was tired, frustrated, and annoyed as he tramped through the Manhattan streets. Bebop and Rocksteady were also tired, frustrated, and annoyed.

"Come on, Boss, what do you think Barney's doing if he's not doing what he said?" Rocksteady whined.

"I don't know!" Shredder fumed. "I just know that something isn't right about that arrogant fool."

"Maybe you just think that 'cause you're jealous that Krang likes him," Bebop suggested.

"I am _not_ jealous!" Shredder boomed. "Where would you get such a preposterous idea?!"

"Well, you sure didn't like it when Krang tried to replace you with that Lotus girl," Bebop pointed out.

"This is a completely different situation!" Shredder shook his fists to the night sky. "Krang hasn't replaced me again!"

"No, but he sure thinks Barney is better to have around," said Bebop.

"Here he is now," Rocksteady announced.

Barney was coming towards them, carrying an armload of assorted parts. "What are you three doing up here?" he asked smoothly.

Shredder fell back, honestly surprised and stunned to see Barney's load. "Well, I . . . that is . . . you mean you really _did_ come up here to get more parts?!" he exclaimed.

"Of course I did," Barney boredly answered. He loaded the items in his transport module. "And now I'm going back to the Technodrome. You should as well."

Shredder just stood and gawked after him as he got inside and drove the amphibious vehicle down the street. Bebop and Rocksteady came up next to him.

"Gee, it's sure nice to know when you can really trust a guy," said Bebop.

"Yeah!" Rocksteady added. "Can we go home now?"

"Oh! We might as well." Shredder turned, storming back to the module they had brought. "I don't understand. Something still doesn't seem right."

"Everything seems fine to me," said Rocksteady.

"To me too," Bebop added.

Shredder muttered under his breath.

xxxx

"Well, _that_ was interesting," Raphael commented. By now they were all inside Baxter's apartment and Baxter had turned on the heat.

"Now you finally know the entire truth," Splinter said to Baxter. "How do you feel about this knowledge?"

"I don't know," Baxter admitted. "I'm relieved to know the whole story. And I find it encouraging that I felt so horrible about what I'd done that I tried to help Barney. But it's . . . difficult, learning that something I thought was true actually isn't true at all. I sincerely believed I had never attacked Barney in my fly state. It's still horrible to realize that I did, and that I did something so especially abominable to him."

"It was Professor Sopho who actually did it," Leonardo said.

"He convinced me to help him," Baxter pointed out. "Barney wouldn't have been there if I hadn't abducted him from prison. And I was right there, laughing at Barney's torment and encouraging Sopho's actions." He ran a hand over his eyes. "I can't forget that easily now that it's been restored to me."

"He's got a point," said Raphael.

"Raphael . . ." Leonardo sighed. "You're not helping."

Raphael shrugged. "I'm just being realistic."

"Bummer, Dude," said Michelangelo. "But I know it'd be really hard for me to get over it if I realized I'd hurt any of my amigos."

Baxter gave a weak smile. "Hopefully, since Barney's alright, I'll be able to deal with it. It won't be instantaneous, but I think I'll get there."

"I sincerely hope so," said Splinter. "This night has been a whirlwind of emotions for you."

"By now the night will be over before long," Baxter said dryly. "At least I have today off from work."

"Oh yeah, that's a good thing," said Michelangelo. "Hopefully Shred-Head won't decide it's a great day to attack in the morning."

"Perish the thought," Raphael declared. "I am looking forward to a nice, long rest."

"We could all do with that," said Splinter. "Will you be alright here alone, Dr. Stockman?"

"I think I will be now," Baxter said. "The worst is over."

"Good." Splinter headed for the door. "Then we will bid you Goodnight."

"See you tomorrow, Amigo!" Michelangelo said with a wave as he and the other Turtles followed.

Baxter returned the Goodbyes and saw them out. Then, sighing, he switched out the lights and headed for the bedroom. He closed the door and leaned against it, staring up into the distance.

It definitely would take time to put these revelations behind him. He could still hear his crazed laughter and see the pained look in Barney's eyes as Sopho blasted him with the ray. No matter how understandable lashing out at Barney was, it wasn't something Baxter could easily forgive himself for.

He pushed away from the door. He wasn't that revenge-crazed creature anymore. He could take comfort in that, as well as in the fact that Barney was alright and Baxter would not deliberately hurt him again. Maybe if he focused on that, he could sleep without too much difficulty.


End file.
